Decision Making with Head, Heart, and Gut
We live in a world that tends to focus on intellect. Intellect often sits at the top of the decision-making hierarchy, and there is a lot of benefit in that. For most of human history, we lacked a significant intellectual understanding and access to knowledge. In our current times, many of us, especially those shaped by Western ideals, are taught to lead with our brains. To analyze, rationalize, and make a good case. Emotions and instincts can often be asked to sit on the side, as the perception is that they can be soft or unreliable. That being said, we can have over-reliance on our minds and intellect. And that isn’t directly a “bad” thing in and of itself.
But here’s the thing: when we rely solely on our heads, we can swirl, and overthinking can set in. What often gets lost in that mental chatter is the quiet voice of the heart and the deeper sense of the gut.
The Wisdom of All Three
Each part of us (head, heart, and gut) holds its own special wisdom.
The gut offers instinctive knowing. That subtle (or sometimes loud) pull that says, "yes," or "no," before our minds have even caught up.
The heart brings our desires and fears into view. It reveals what matters to us, what we love, what we long for, and what we’re afraid of.
The head helps us make sense of it all. It offers big picture thinking, frameworks, plans, logistics. It asks, "How can this work?" It can help us override our heart or gut when they are leading us down a path we don’t want to/aren’t ready to go down yet.
When all three are in conversation, we tend to make better, more grounded decisions. Ones that hold up not only on paper but also in our bodies, our relationships, and our sense of peace.
The Cost of Overriding Ourselves
I once worked with a client who had lined up a very rational argument for a career move. The pros list was long and persuasive. But as she spoke, there was a flicker of something else: a tightness in her jaw, and a slight hesitation in her voice. When we paused and she checked in with her body, other feelings came forward, such as envy, fear, and longing. The logic was sound, but the energy underneath needed to be acknowledged. What she really wanted was to feel seen and valued, and this decision was trying to deliver that through a job title. It took time, but once she acknowledged those deeper needs, her head, heart, and gut began to align. And the next steps she decided from that place felt wholly different.
A Practice of Coming Home
Reconnecting with your inner wisdom is a practice. And it often starts with the body: deep breathing, stillness, and a moment of pause. From there, you can gently ask:
Heart, what do I feel?
Gut, what do I sense?
What do I already know, even if I don’t have proof?
Sometimes I ask clients to try this out loud. To actually say, "Gut, what do you think I should do?" Saying it can help you feel whether the answer is available. And if it isn't, that's okay! The point is to ask and to begin or deepen that relationship.
If this kind of inner listening feels awkward or unfamiliar, you're not alone (Talking to your gut aloud can feel a little funny at first). Many of us have tuned out these parts of ourselves. But they’re still there.
An Invitation to Listen Differently
I wonder: have you ever tried making a decision this way? What helps you connect to your gut or heart? What gets in the way?